


neon baby

by jaehyn



Category: NCT
Genre: (Maybe) Smut, Alcohol, Angst, Coming of Age, Drugs, Fluff, High School AU, M/M, Partying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 07:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaehyn/pseuds/jaehyn
Summary: [ neon baby in his neon city ]--this story is slightly based on 'neon baby' by cuco--





	1. la préface

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is also posted to wattpad ((: my user is semidun

_**[PREFACE]** _

* * *

 

his bright almond shaped eyes were fixed intently on whatever was on his phone screen that lit up on his face. he wasn't focused on his job or paying attention to who could just walk in at any given moment. since today was so boring and there were barely customers, he didn't think anyone would come in. but that's when a boy with brown hair and the softest brown eyes tapped him on the shoulder. the black haired boy looked up and absentmindedly locked his phone.  
"sorry," the boy cleared his throat and asked,"what could i help you with today?" he furrowed his eyebrows when he didn't see the customer with a pet.

"uh, i'd like to make a grooming appointment for saturday at 2 pm." the customer answered. his voice was smooth.

the black haired boy had no idea why he was so interested in this random customer. could it be his soft eyes? his brown hair that fell over his forehead? his charming smile that just happened to make the black haired boy swoon?  
he tapped away on the ipad, making the appointment.  
"uh- w-what kind of animal?"

"a dog, she's a short haired pomeranian."

"and she's a purebread, right?"

"yep." the customer nodded.

"okay, i'm gonna need a signature right here and then your name in print right there." he turned the ipad over so the customer could scribble his signature and name on the lines.

the black haired boy submitted the appointment and a receipt slid out of the small machine by the cash register.

"that'll be $40, johnny." the employee smiled. he had just read the name off of the tablet where johnny signed his name at.  
he handed johnny the reciept and waited for the tall boy to pay. he gave the employee two twenty dollar bills and then some change for the tax.

"thank you, see you on saturday." the employee smiled.

"thank you, have a good day." johnny smiled as he took the receipt and walked out of the small pet shop.

"ten, you were so into that dude." jaehyun teased as he walked up the front counter to join his friend/coworker. the blonde had a playful smile plastured on his face.

"i was just being nice, after all this is a job that provides service to customers so," ten shrugged.

"have fun on saturday washing his little pomeranian." jaehyun laughed.

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

"okay...you can wait over there, jaehyun should be out shortly with remi." ten smiled at the customer. the girl nodded and hummed a 'thank you' before going to the small shopping area to look around.

"ugh, when will this shift just end already." ten rolled his eyes as he rested his elbows on the counter. doyoung chuckled and said,"you applied for this job and you've always wanted to work with pets so, here we are now."

ten took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair before putting the hat back on.  
he checked the time on the digital clock displayed on the wall in front of him.  
32 more minutes until johnny's appointment for his pomeranian.

the only employees that were working at the moments were ten, doyoung, yuta, and jaehyun. all the others were on break or they will be starting their shift later right before the shop closes.  
"i need a smoke." yuta huffed as he joined ten behind the front counter.  
"wanna go to hansol's place tonight? he's having a small get together, he even has drugs." yuta fake gasped dramatically when he said 'drugs'.

"if i'm not all tired then yeah." ten shrugged.  
"do you think that johnny dude is around our age? like do you think he goes to our school?" ten asked as he watched the clock.

"uh, i don't really remember what he looks like. ten you've been up his dick hole for the past 3 days, why won't you just search his name on instagram or something." yuta suggested.  
"dm'ing him won't hurt, yanno. me and sicheng started dating because he dm'd me on instagram asking what song was playing in the background of my instagram story."

"you and sicheng started dating because after he dm'd you, you saw him at a party and you guys fucked. if you hadn't of seen him at that party you guys wouldn't have acknowledged each other's existence." ten retorted. he lazily rolled his eyes and looked up at the clock again. he let out a whine and said,"why are boys so cute."

"that's like asking,'what's the meaning of life?' no one has a real answer we just, know, yanno?" yuta shrugged.  
jaehyun walked from the grooming room holding a puppy in his hands. he smiled as he carefully handed the puppy to its owner.  
"thank you so much," the woman smiled.

"have a nice day." jaehyun smiled as he walked to the counter where ten and yuta were standing. the woman left, leaving yuta, ten, doyoung, and jaehyun tending the shop as a few customers were looking around the shopping area.

ten looked at the clock again. 15 more minutes.  
he took out his phone and checked his notifications before locking it again and putting it in his pocket.

"dude one ok rock are doing a show in anaheim next friday!" yuta exclaimed as he showed ten his phone.  
"we have to go!"

ten tried to read the information but yuta was shaking and jumping up and down from excitement.  
he grabbed yuta's wrist to keep the phone still.

"tickets are only $40?" ten furrowed his eyebrows.  
"if we go can hansol drive this time?"

"anaheim is like 7 hours from here, we should take turns or something."

"what are you guys talking about?" doyoung furrowed his eyebrows as he walked out of the back room.  
his hair was a mess, name tag twisted upside, and his lips were swollen.

"okay...i'm gonna act like you weren't just making out with jaehyun back there," ten shook his head and rolled his eyes.  
"but yuta wants us to go to a one ok rock concert in anaheim with him. it's next saturday at 8:30." he explained.

"any opening acts?" doyoung asked as he threw away a receipt that was left on the counter.

yuta scrolled down the website and then shook his head.  
"just one ok rock, i think it's a small concert they're doing that isn't apart of their tour." he said as he read the rest of the information.

"guys it's almost 2, johnny's gonna be here." ten practically squealed and jumped up and down but them calmed himself when a customer walked up to to the counter.

"are these still on sale?" the man asked. he held up a pack of dog treats that were unreasonably expensive.  
ten read the brand then nodded,"yeah, the sale for this particular brand for all dog treats, toys, foods, and other accessories are on sale until mext friday. plus, if you buy two things from the brand then the second item is 60% off." he explained.

"okay, thank you." the man smiled before walking back over to the shelf he was at.

jaehyun was in the cages, beds, and accessories section stocking shelves and cleaning up areas that were left a mess.

"so how many tickets should i order? i texted sicheng and he said he can go. also, he's gonna let us use his aunts volkswagon van."  
yuta asked.

"one of those hippie campers?" ten chuckled.

"yeah, sicheng and i have been in there tons of times and it's really spacious and fun to be in."

"well so far, me, you, sicheng, and doyoung are going but usually there's an 8 ticket limit, right?"

"yeah, you could always order for yourself though if we go over the limit." yuta shrugged.

"okay, we just need to ask jaehyun, hansol, and taeyong."

"jaehyun is probably going since doyoung is."  
yuta added.

ten nodded in agreement and looked up at the clock. it's 2:05. johnny isn't here yet.  
"does my face look bloated?" ten asked, poking at his cheeks and looking at yuta.

"no, i don't know. your face looks fine this dude will probably fall for you like literally almost every dude that comes in here does. ten you're a magnet." yuta answered.

"wow thanks for the pep talk." the black haired boy playfull rolled his eyes.

the door opened followed by the bell that was attached to the frame and ten perked up. he fixed his shirt and took a deep breath. when the person came in, ten immediately pouted. there was no johnny.  
however, a short woman with curly hair and deep wrinkles walked in holding a short haired pomeranian. she smiled as she went to the counter.  
"hi, i'm here for the 2 o clock appointment, my son came here the other day to schedule it." she greeted.

"okay, just sign in and doyoung will be here to take care of her." ten smiled. he looked over at the small animal and smiled at it.  
"what's her name?" he asked.

"her name is molly, my daughter named her." the woman smiled.  
"my son will be here in a half an hour to come by and pick her up," she informed.  
"please take good care of her."

* * *

 

  
"oh my god she's so cute." doyoung huffed as he walked out of the grooming room holding molly and gently petting her.

"johnny should be here like any minute to come and get her." ten said as he picked at a loose thread on his shirt.

"what are you gonna say to him?" asked jaehyun.  
the door swung open and a bell sounded. ten immediately looked up and saw a tall boy with brown hair walk into the pet shop.

"uh, i'm here for molly." johnny said as he walked to the counter. doyoung was on the floor playing with the small dog.  
johnny chuckled when seeing this.

ten felt his cheeks get warm and he couldn't help but stare at johnny. he tried to take in as much of his facial features as he could.  
he had perfectly clear beige colored skin with dark brown eyes.

doyoung stood up and handed molly to johnny.  
"thanks, oh and how'd she do with getting her nails trimmed? she's always had a hard time with it." johnny asked. ten noticed he had a slight lisp. it wasn't a typical '-th' lisp but it was just a simple lisp.

"she was a bit squirmy but she didn't give me a hard time." doyoung shrugged.  
ten noticed his mind was somewhere else as he stared at johnny. he shook his head, bringing himself back to reality and remembered he's supposed to advertise and try to sell the products that were used to groom molly.  
"w-we uh, used a particular shampoo that goes well with her fur, it's vegan and works well with dogs that react badly to shampoos," ten said as he put a clear bottle of dog shampoo on the counter.  
"we also used the spray that goes with it and to protect the pads of her paws, we used a vegan mixture that prevents dogs from hurting their paws when walking on snow, hot asphalt, and such." ten looked up at johnny and noticed the brown haired boy was smiling.  
"that's why she looks like she's glowing," he chuckled as he held the pomeranian close to him,"her fur is so soft."

johnny paused then said,"i'm actually going to schedule weekly appointments, for her." 

"a-alright so uhm," ten was cut off by yuta.

"okay so i ordered me and sicheng's one ok rock tickets, you're on your own ten." yuta said as he walked out of the back room. ten's eyes widened and he turned around.  
"yuta i'm with a customer right now." the boy muttered before turning his attention back to johnny.

"so, you're going to schedule weekly appointments, right?" ten asked.

"yeah, every saturday at 2." johnny confirmed.  
this pet shop is extremely expensive, johnny's family must be wealthy if they can pay for their dog to get groomed weekly at an expensive place like this.

"yay! i get to see this precious pup every week now." doyoung smiled as he walked up to johnny to pet molly. johnny laughed and set down molly so doyoung could play with her. ten couldn't help but chuckle. doyoung is such a child.

"so all you need to do is sign this," ten handed johnny the tablet and the tall boy scribbled on his signature.  
"do you wanna pay after every appointment?"

"yeah, that's fine," johnny shrugged.  
"thank you so much, i look forward to the next appointment."

"me too." ten beamed. doyoung handed molly over to johnny and said,"take care, dude."

"see ya." johnny waved before walking out of the pet shop.

"oooo, ten's in loooove." yuta teased.

"n-no i'm not...he's just very interesting." ten muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excuse my typos !!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excuse all my typos ughh

"who else is coming?" sicheng asked as he set the beer on the counter.

"taeyong and his friends and some other people. also this dude mark met in his music theory class." hansol answered. he turned on the kitchen lights and reached on top of the fridge to get the pack of solo cups.  
yuta walked into the kitchen and when he saw sicheng, he wrapped his arms around the small boy and kissed him on the cheek.

"hi, yuta," sicheng blushed.  
"who's the guy mark met?" he turned his attention back to hansol.  
yuta frowned and continued to litter sichengs cheeks and neck with kisses until he got his attention again.

"the dude is this guy named johnny, he just started going to school here at the beginning of this year." hansol explained.

yuta furrowed his eyebrows and asked,"tall dude with brown hair?" 

"i don't know," hansol shrugged.  
"he drives a rolls royce though, that's all i know."

"...a rolls royce? he's literally in high school why does he need a rolls royce." yuta scoffed. sicheng grabbed a grape from the bowl on the counter and fed it to yuta.  
"you're going to be nice to him." sicheng demanded.

"why wouldn't i?" yuta asked a she chewed the grape.

"because you're a meanie, that's why." the chinese boy smiled before kissing his boyfriend on the lips.

"hey, here's this." jaehyun walked into the kitchen and tossed a bag of weed on the counter.

"dude where'd you get this?" hansol asked.

"the usual person, what's wrong?" jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows. he looked at yuta and sicheng who were feeding each other grapes and then looked back at hansol.  
"when joy gave me a bag earlier she told me she didn't have much left after." he told jaehyun.

"oh, when i got this she told me to be careful because someone had lent her some." the blonde said.  
"it's no biggie though, we have more now." he shrugged.

"you almost hit a fucking curb, ten. you're never driving my car again." the boys heard. probably ten and doyoung bickering again. as always.

"you were distracting me!" ten argued. 

"can you guys just shut the fuck up and get in here." yuta yelled from the kitchen. he heard the boys sigh and seconds later they were in the kitchen. 

"ten is never driving my car ever again." doyoung announced. 

"fuck you i was trying to be nice because you were tired so i wanted to drive you here." the short black haired boy rolled his eyes.  
"you're lucky i can't even be for real mad." he smiled. 

"when is this thing starting?" yuta asked.

"8. amber texted and said they're on their way." hansol informed. 

"i'm gonna go for a smoke," yuta sighed.  
"wanna come with?" he asked sicheng.  
sicheng shook his head and let go of yuta.  
"...alright..." yuta muttered awkwardly before leaving the kitchen.

jaehyun, ten, doyoung, and hansol exchanged looks. they were were wondering the same thing: 'what the hell is going on with them.' 

"uh, anyone wanna help me with moving all the important stuff from the living room so they won't get destoryed?"  hansol cleared his throat as he tried to break the ice.

"sure," sicheng nodded and followed hansol into the other room.  
when they left, jaehyun was the first to say something.  
"why is their relationship so weird?" he asked.  
"it's like they always have these weird mood swings."

"maybe sicheng hates the smoking..." ten suggested.

"no, sicheng smokes too it's just not as much as yuta. it can't be that." doyoung commented.  
yuta walked into the kitchen and asked,"anyone got a lighter?"

"here," doyoung took a lighter out of his pocket and handed it to the japanese boy.  
"are you and sicheng okay?" he asked.

"yeah, why?" yuta furrowed his eyebrows.

"you guys have been like...weird, i don't know." jaehyun muttered.

"no, we're fine, dude. don't worry." yuta shrugged.

. .

"haaansooooll!!! get in the pool with me!" taeyong whined drunkly as he pulled hansol's arm.

"ty, you've had too much to drink." hansol sighed as he sat taeyong down on one of the lounge chairs. 

"you're so cute hansol." taeyong slurred. 

ten was standing nearby, laughing as hansol struggled to deal with taeyong. he took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled to let the smoke escape his mouth.

mostly everyone was inside but ten and yuta were outside for a bit to smoke and get some fresh hair. how ironic.

"c'mon, yuta. tell me what's really going on with you and sicheng." ten sighed.  
"you can tell me anything, i'm a good listener."

yuta sighed, taking a long drag of his cigarette. he exhaled and then looked at ten.  
"we had an argument earlier and it was basically about how i feel like our relationship is one sided. he kept saying i'm too clingy and possessive which i can admit to, i'm an annoying boyfriend like that's obvious but i can't really help it, you know?" 

ten nodded,"it could get unhealthy. you know, to the point where you're extremly possessive and protective over him and stuff. he's probably afraid of that happening." 

yuta only nodded. he crossed his arms over his chest and said,"yeah, you're right. i need to back off a bit. but like at the same time i-"  
yuta was cut off by ten's loud gasp which was followed by choking since he didn't let the smoke out of his mouth before gasping so hard.

"dude what's up with you?" yuta furrowed his eyebrows.

ten threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out before hiding behind the grill that was near him. he pulled yuta down with him.  
"johnny is here." ten whispered.  
"see? over there with amber and mark." he pointed out the tall brown haired boy. 

"holy shit, go talk to him." yuta elbowed ten.  
"c'mon, you guys will hit it off."

"i don't know what to say, do i just say,'hey my friends washed your pomeranian and i think you're hot'?!" ten whisper-yelled.

"just go talk to him, he's new here he would probably like some friends." yuta roleld his eyes.

"he has friends already! look see?" ten gestured towards mark and amber.

"ten. go. you've been pining over him for days." yita demanded.  
"i'm not leaving you alone until you go talk to him.

ten sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes before standing up. he gave a disapproving look to yuta and started to walk over to johnny. he turned around before flipping the japanese boy off.

"go!" yuta shouted.

"ten!" amber exclaimed. she extended her arms and engulfed the thai boy in a hug. ten happily hugged her back. he notice johnny staring at him.

"dude we have like no classes together this year!" amber complained.

"i know! i miss wreaking havoc in class with you, we had so many detentions together last year!" ten giggled. 

"this is johnny, he just moved here from chicago like a month ago." she grabbed johnny's arm and the tall boy smiled and asked,"you're the pet shop dude, right?" 

"u-uh, yeah. you can call me ten." 

"cool, i didn't know you went to our school i never see you." 

johnny's smile was too much for ten. his teeth were perfect and his eyes beamed as he smiled.  
"hey, krystal's looking for you." mark said as he approached amber.  
the short haired girl nodded and said,"i'll be right back, you two should get to know each other, i think you'd get along well." she smirked before skipping back to the door to go in the house. when the door opened, a heavy bassed song played through the backyard and then became muffled when she shut the door.

"oh, johnny you're meeting ten, that's good." mark smiled when he noticed the two standing near each other.

"we've met before at my job, actually." ten corrected.  
"but i'm glad we're meeting properly." 

johnny nodded in agreement and mark made look that looked like he just realized something then he smirked.  
"i uh, gotta go. i'm actually supposed to get some more beer with haechan..." he said before leaving the two alone.

"does hansol always throw parties like this?" johnny asked ten.

"yeah, his parents are never home and they're usually like extremely lenient when it comes to stuff like this."

"the drugs too?" the tall boy chuckled.

"they don't know about the drugs, shhh." ten joked.  
"so you moved here from chicago, right?" he asked.

"yeah, i'm kind of glad i got out of that hell hole." 

ten nodded and then looked over at yuta who was giving him thumbs ups.  
the thai boy rolled his eyes and looked back at johnny.  
"do you wanna go inside?" he asked.

"yeah, sure. do you have a lighter?" 

"yeah, you smoke?" 

"mostly weed but yeah." johnny shrugged.

 

. .

johnny certainly did smoke weed. after him and ten talked with each other for a while, everything started to kick in. he was sitting on he couch next to ten, his head thrown back as he looked up at the ceiling. he was completely out of it from both the alcohol and the weed. whatever he had that he brought himself was really strong.

meanwhile ten was trying to get drunk, he didn't want to be left out from everyone who was high off of some drug or drunk, or a mixture of both.  
"god i need another drink." ten slurred. he ran a hand through his hair and stood up before losing his balance and falling on johnny who only laughed and messily helped ten up.  
"woah there, be careful." johnny laughed.  
ten's cheeks got hot and he sloppily walked to the kitchen to get more to drink before he embarrassed himself even more. his head was pounding from the loud music that was blasting through the crowded house but he enjoyed this feeling. 

"hey," yuta approached ten and said,"i have some xannies, maybe you can share with your boyfriend over there." he took ten's wrist and opened his hand before handing him a bag of pills and closing ten's hand up for him.  
"you don't owe me anything for it, just wanted to be a nice friend." yuta smirked before leaving.

ten put the pills in his hoodie pocket and began to pour beer in his cup until he got a better idea. he went to hansol's cabinet and got a bottle of cough syrup and poured it in his cup, then proceeded to pour sprite in it and put lifesavers candies in it.  
he walked back to the living room to sit down with johnny.

"what took you so long," johnny whined.  
"what's that?" he questioned when he noticed ten's drink wasn't beer or vodka.

"lean," ten smirked.  
"have you had it before?" 

johnny shook his head.  
"can i try some? will i die?" he rubbed his bloodshot red eyes and ran a hand through his hair.

"here," ten handed him the cup.  
"and..." he reached in his pocket and opened the bag of pills before taking one out and handing it to johnny.  
"here's this."

johnny took a gulp of the lean and used the lean to down the xanax.  
"ugh, my head is already spinning." johnny threw his head back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. he rubbed his face and ten watched, he was almost in awe. ten downed most of the lean and took two xanax's.

"guys! me and doyoung are gonna sing a song!" jaehyun slurred. he went over to the speakers and turned down the loud music. everyone hyped them up as they sloppily held onto each other and tried to sit down in the reclining chair together.

"turn the music back on!"sicheng shouted.

"we are the music." doyoung chuckled. jaehyun sat on his lap and they started screaming lyrics to a random pop song that everyone knew all too well.  
doyoung and jaehyun were on ecstasy pills at the moment.

"booo!!!" amber shouted as she turned the music back on.  
everyone went back to what they were doing. 

"dude let's go outside." ten managed to say clearly. he stood up and grabbed johnny's arm for balance as the tall boy stood up as well.  
ten giggled when he stumbled while trying to get to the door. johnny helped him but they ended up both stumbling. they laughed as they did so and ten opened the door, the cool breeze hitting them and the stars painted in the sky that greeted them. 

"fuck this lean stuff makes everything seem way more spectacular than it actually is. look at the fucking sky." johnny huffed. he sat down at the patio table, ten sitting in the chair next to him. 

"whenever i drink that stuff or take xans i like going outside, it makes things less foggy." ten said as he took out a pack of cigarettes. johnny's lips were parted which made it easy for ten to put a cigarette in the tall boy's mouth.  
johnny giggled and let ten light the cigarette for him.  
"thank you," the brown haired boy laughed.  
ten giggled in response and lit his own cigarette. 

"when's your birthday?" ten asked. 

"february 9th." johnny responded.  
"you?"

"february 27th." ten suddenly started giggling.  
"we were born the same month." 

"yeah," johnny muttered.  
"i wanna be good friends with you, ten." he slurred. it might've seemed like the drugs were talking, but he really does want to get close to ten and become great friends with him. 

. .


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: suicide, mention of mental illnesses

“fuck...” ten groaned as he sat up and rubbed his head. he furrowed his eyebrows as he slowly took in his surroundings, the pounding headache that fogged his brain didn’t help him register where he was. just when he realized, he immediately jumped and looked around to make sure he was where he thought he was. judging by the sound of the tiny waves brushing around in hansol’s pool and the sun hitting directly into his eyes, he was definitely outside...in hansol’s back yard...in a lounge chair.

ten heard loud trap music being played from inside the house and he saw a very trippy looking jaehyun walking towards him.

“damn you’re finally up. we kinda thought you died, those xans yuta gave you were...way too heavy. sicheng is definitely still puking. but uh, doyoung is making us breakfast and johnny’s still here.” jaehyun explained while he helped ten up.

“fuck...wh-why is that music so fucking loud.” ten strained his eyes and rubbed his head as he unsteadily tried to walk to the door. jaehyun held onto ten’s arm and walked him in the house.

“hey, turn down that music...ten is fucked.” 

hansol quickly ran to get the remote to the speakers and turn the music off. 

“yuta could’ve fucking killed me.” ten groaned, plopping down on the couch.

“yeah sorry bud, not my fault my dealer is an ass.” yuta shrugged he walked into the kitchen and grabbed cleaning supplies.  
ten wanted to give him a black eye.

“sicheng puked all over the floor so...guess who has to clean it.” yuta pointed to himself before going back to the bathroom.

“breakfast is ready!” doyoung exclaimed. no one was hungry. only hansol grabbed a strawberry and sat on the couch next to ten. 

ten was still trying to figure out how his night ended and what happened in between. all he remembers is talking to johnny about random shit. the worst that could’ve happened was ten telling johnny his whole entire life story. 

ten immediately jumped up,”where’s johnny?!” he asked frantically.

“uh, outside i think. someone scratched his car, like a really really tiny scratch and right now he’s calling his mother to get it scheduled to go to the shop. rich people...i swear...” hansol shook his head.

ten ran through the house and went to the front door. he opened it and luckily johnny was sitting in his car talking on the phone. ten knocked on the window and johnny furrowed his eyebrows but then unlocked the door for ten to get in on the passenger’s side.   
he shut the door and johnny hung up the phone.

“hey...” johnny muttered. 

“hi.” ten said quietly.  
“do you uh...remember anything i told you last night? like...the stuff about me?”

johnny nodded. 

 

“i tend to do dumb shit like tell people about my life when i’m in that state...” ten looked down at his shoes.

“i don’t think of you any differently, ten. you know...if you need anything...”

“i can always talk to you, i know. everyone says that.” ten smiled.   
“if we’re going to be friends you have to promise me you wont go telling everyone about...everything. okay?”

johnny nodded. “i would never spill anyone’s info like that, even if they’re an enemy.”

ten nodded.   
“do you have any like...questions?” 

“i just wanna know the full story, if you’re comfortable, of course. i’m just really curious about...everything. why’d your dad kill himself and why did you want to kill your mom? is that how you ended up in the psych ward?” 

“oh,” ten chuckled. “i probably told you the butchered bits and pieces version of it.” 

“you don’t have to tell me, ten.”

“i want to. i want to be close with you, johnny...i feel like these things are important in friendships.”

johnny nodded. 

“so i was 13...my mom was exhausted and my dad was depressed. like...super depressed. we lived in michigan in this tiny little town that was prominent in asians. my dad moved us there because after living in thailand we were homesick and needed people like us to welcome us. 

i noticed that my dad was always upset because he’d come home from work and he would stay in the bathroom for a really long time. no one knew what he was doing but after he died my little sister told me that one time she caught him snorting lines and other times she’d hear him crying. he felt hopeless. he thought he wasn’t doing enough for our family. my mom loved him so much, he sometimes spent so much time crying in her arms and begging for help but she was doing the best he could. one night, after my dance recital, my dad brought me roses after my solo and i introduced him to my friend lucas...well yukhei was his real name. he just went by lucas. l told him that me and lucas were in love and i was only 13 so i guess he thought i was speaking nonsense. he smiled though, and he told me he wants lucas to come for dinner some day with his family. so we made plans with his mother to come over the week after. 

 

that night my dad put my roses in a vase and left me a note in them. he left a note for my sister and a really long note for my mother. uh...after that he went to the bathroom of a gas station and shot himself. right in the throat. the police came at 4am. my mom was devastated and tern cried for hours. i wanted to cry but i didn’t. i couldn’t. my mom found her note on her nightstand the night after finding out and tern found hers a few weeks later. i found mine the day we found out. the note simply said ‘i’m proud of you. please follow your dreams’. it could’ve said anything but it said that and i’m kind of glad it did even though it was a bit cliche. 

my mother seemingly took everything well. she was...okay. she didn’t drink or anything. she got upset occasionally and she would tell us stories about him that we didn’t know. but she was just okay. a few months later i still didn’t cry over him. i didn’t feel as upset as my mom and tern did when they were talking about him or anything. i was kind of out of it. was failing my classes, skipped dance class everyday, and went to the gas station where my father killed himself. the bathroom was closed off but i still went there almost daily. i’d buy a few snacks and sit outside and just think of him. 

i don’t remember what caused it, or what got to me, but i just went absolutely nuts after a while. i was extremely moody and i always had dreams of killing my mother. fuck, i wanted to kill her so bad. god, i was so fucked. i planned everything out and even planned to give tern every single penny our family had to our name after she died and we were just going to run away. i remember thinking that if i cant have one parent, then why should i have both?”

ten forgot johnny was there.   
he listened intently.

“so i remember coming home from school and my mom asked me to move my clothes from the laundry room. i started arguing with her and she was confused as to why i was so upset. she said she was confused as to why i was getting so angry with her. i pulled a knife on her and threatened to kill her then tern called the police. i got questioned and they were concerned with everything i was saying so i went to a specialist and i was diagnosed with a mild form of psychosis and a manic disorder and they sent me to a psych ward. i stayed there for a few months. i celebrated my birthday in there and my mother and sister visited like 4 times a week. when i got out i had to go to therapy and yeah...that’s basically it. we moved to california and i guess we’re good now. every once in a while i have episodes but my medicine sorta helps with it all. the reason why i just carelessly drink and do drugs is because of that. it can affect my medicine very terribly and it has i just hate to see my friends afraid of me when i’m having an episode. i feel like it’s better to hang out with them when i’m high...but i just try to control it better.”

ten sighed and johnny took that as an indication that he was done.

“oh...” was all he responded with.  
“that’s a lot. you’re so fucking strong, ten.” 

“thank you.” 

“i’m kind of glad you confided in me...i feel so much closer to you.” johnny smiled.

ten shrugged.   
“i know it’s a lot to take in. but i’m glad i told you too.” 

“i want to confide in you too, though. but i’m not quite ready yet...” johnny said quietly.

. .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically, ten and johnny both have really bad pasts and they still struggle with it. also, johnny’s will probably be told later on in the book.


End file.
